If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve tasted success quite a few times in your life and you want more of it.

However, you’re going to spend a lot of your time chasing my forms of success —claiming success, taking a selfie with it — and leaving without actual satisfaction.

It will leave you empty. That is not true success. You’re wasting your time.

Why?

You’re chasing other people’s dreams, goals and achievements. You’re chasing the American dream or your father’s dream, or your hero’s dream, not yours. You’re not clear, and you don’t even know it. 

But you feel it.

I’m going to save you a lot of wasted time by helping you find if it’s really your true success before you have to go through the trouble of getting it.

Here’s the difference:

There are 2 types of satisfaction from “success”.

1. Ego Satisfaction – The kind of satisfaction you get from likes on Facebook or your friends exclaiming,

“That’s so cool, or great or awesome!” “What’s it like?” “How did you do it?”

2. Alignment Satisfaction – This is the kind of satisfaction you are looking for. True fulfillment that leaves you feeling,

“This is it. This is what it’s all about.”

Ego satisfaction is the “candy” of success. Tastes really good, gives you momentary happiness, then leaves you empty. Alignment satisfaction is what you’re looking for. The kind of satisfaction so deep that you don’t care who agrees with you and you don’t feel the need to flash it around. The kind that goes deep into your heart and soul where you say, “This is it.” and it fills you up.

That, my friend, is true success, fulfillment. This is what you want to focus on and scrap all the other forms of “candy success”.

Those many times you’ve thought you knew what you wanted — you were sure of it — only to realize that when you reached the top it left you empty inside. You were lacking something from the beginning.

You were lacking clarity.

You require clarity of self to be able to authentically align the goals in your life with your true self and your true purpose.

Your true self is:

• What you value most in life
• Your values, virtues you live by.
• Your mission in life. Your life’s purpose.

Here are the 10 steps to get clarity on your true success

1. Commit to this process

You won’t get something for nothing so be prepared, this exercise requires two things for it to be effective.

2. Define your values

What values do you live by? Create a list of 10 values you uphold most in your life, values you live by, values you stand for. Circle the top 3. This is your roadmap.

3. Define your moments

What moments do you live for? Create a list of 10 types of moments you value most in your life, such as spending time with family or surfing at sunrise.

Make sure your goals allow for or include these moments.

4. Stop forcing success

Slow down and train yourself to be ok with just existing. You don’t have to be in the process of achieving something all the time. This is more challenging and uncomfortable than it seems because your mind is already in the habit of moving fast towards something, anything, all the time.

You will also feel resistance because you are pushing against the current of what society has defined you should be doing. Just chill or zen out. Relax and just exist.

Observe what happens. What new thoughts come to you? What feelings come to you?

5. Learn the difference between force and flow

The goals worth pursuing are the ones that pull you, not the ones you push for. They come into your mind from momentary bursts of inspiration and create lasting impressions that may last for years or a lifetime. Listen to the call. Make sure you are aware enough to capture these moments of inspiration. WRITE THEM DOWN.

6. Do it for you. Don’t give a fuck

Think of a goal you are not yet clear on and write it down.

• Who are the others involved who would be affected either positively or negatively by the achievement of your goal?
• What does the achievement of this goal do for your social status? Your family status?
• How does this affect your decision?
• Are you getting the most satisfaction from the achievement of this goal or is someone else?

You may realize this goal isn’t even yours to pursue. You WILL realize pleasing others or caring for what others think is a waste of your time and energy.

7. See your goal in the bigger picture

Close your eyes, focus on your breathing and relax your body. This works best if you are in an alpha brainwave state.

Visualize the achievement of your goal. What do you feel? What’s next? How does your goal fit into the bigger picture of your life’s purpose? Don’t know what your life’s purpose is? Here’s how to find it.

8. Create Contrast. Spend time alone in nature

Being alone in nature does wonders for helping you get clarity because you remove the interference from others and your natural inclination to adapt yourself to others.

Without the influence of ads, internet and other people you are free to introspect and express yourself in complete authenticity.

This contrast of environment, energies and solitude will create new insights. Observe your behaviors, thought patterns, tendencies, inspirations and inclinations.

WRITE THEM DOWN.

Now, that you have an idea (and some notes) of who you think you are and what your preferences are, you want to go back and interact with the world and others again.

“Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth. “ – Alan Watts

9. Experiment and observe

Go back into the world with your new sense of self and try things. New things, old things.

Identify the things that light you up and observe the things that upset you on a deep level. Don’t force it, just do what you want and have fun. New experiences provide you with the fresh perspective of knowing whether you like something or not.

Notice your energy levels. Are they elevated or drained? How about your emotional levels? Are you angry, inspired or deep in enjoyment?

Observe how you communicate with others. Observe how you perceive a situation, your thought patterns, observe your posture and movement. More tips on how to observe yourself here.

WRITE DOWN YOUR FINDINGS. Write it or capture it somewhere, so you don’t forget.

10. Question the basics

Now that you have a pretty good sense of who you are alone and with others, let’s take this a step further.

Question the things you usually accept. This takes a high level of awareness because what you do day-to-day has become a habit. You won’t even realize there are other ways of doing things.

For example, is the way you get dressed in the morning the most optimal way of doing so? Why do we have 8 hour/ 5 day week workdays? Could roads be made out of solar panels? Etc.

When you acquiesce to something you don’t enjoy enough times, it becomes an automatic habit, that you repeat even though you don’t enjoy it. You just accept it.

THIS is what we are looking to snap you out of.

Congratulations!

You now have a roadmap and analysis of who you are, what you stand for and what you love.

Here’s to you and your amazingly fulfilling life.