“Good vibes only!”
This is what I heard for years from many New Age, spiritual people. And I knew right away that something wasn’t right about it.
During my strongest times of growth, all I could think of is “Oh, fuck off!” “That is not how it works.”
We are not human to brush an entire side of ourselves under the carpet, plug our ears and hum, “It’s ok, it’s ok, good vibes only”.
That kind of attitude creates lopsidedness, friction and unhealthy expectations. It doesn’t work and will amplify whatever you are trying to get away from. It creates fragmentation, known as the shadow self in Jungian psychology.
The shadow self The ‘shadow’ is the side of your personality that contains all the parts of yourself that you don’t want to admit to having.
– https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/shadow-self.htm
It creates dishonesty with oneself and nature plus an unrealistic view of our humanity.
And in this article, we’ll explore why the New Age craze didn’t work, what does work and why.
Let’s get started.
Why do we seek “good vibes only”?
The concept of “good vibes only” is idealistic and well-intentioned. It’s based on Unity or God-consciousness.
A source of love and pure goodness. Because that is where we come from, it’s in our nature to seek it or return to it.
Understanding Duality Consciousness
Human Consciousness is dual. We perceive separateness in our experience in order to get it far enough away from us that we can “see” it.
Alan Watts refers to the Godhead as Source and in order to know or see itself, it must create an illusion of separation.
This is duality consciousness.
Why Embrace Your Darkness?
In order to embrace the fullness of your humanity, you want to be at peace with all of who, all of your traits, emotions, thoughts, events and environments.
It doesn’t mean you have to embrace all of life’s contrast – just accept. embrace the fullness of your humanity – not all circumstances. Some are meant for you to want to get away from, to hurt from, to learn from.
It’s the awareness behind your response that matters.
Non-judgemental awareness (the circle) encompasses all of these events and responses from a “distance”.
This is known as non-attachment in Buddhism. The ability to see from a higher perspective.
For example, I recently had an experience where I was feeling general anxiety and didn’t know where it was coming from. When I stopped and listened more closely, I realized that there was this deep fear inside me related to being an entrepreneur. The feeling of everything depending on you. The feeling of not having anything else to hold on to. The instability and responsibility of stepping out on your own.
I was able to sit with it and fully feel it. And believe me, it HUURRRT emotionally.
I felt deeply into it and cried. All the while I saw myself from this general sense of awareness “behind” the experience. I was watching myself go through this experience, thinking
“Oh great! Facing this, owning this, is the way through to the other side! Now that I see and feel it, I can overcome it!”
9 Reasons to Embrace Your Darkness
First off, shake all the negative connotations about the word, “darkness”. Realize that it has its purpose. Just as the day has night, light has darkness. It helps show the light more brightly through contrast in this dualistic human experience.
1. Shows You What You Want
Realize that so-called “not good vibes” within actually serve as a compass, as a contrast, and as signposts to help you to “know” yourself and to choose what you want.
Many people do not know what they want, but they know what they don’t want. Thank these opportunities for opening your eyes and helping you to choose better.
2. Clears Energy & Heals
Embracing your darkness helps you realize that to be sad, to be angry, to be scared – is human. It shows you that it’s ok, it’s natural and that it’s good.
What you resist, persists. What you make peace with is experienced, serves its purpose, runs it’s course and then subsides.
When you are no longer suppressing these sides of yourself, you feel a great weight lifted off your shoulders.
Otherwise you are expending lots of energy to pretend it doesn’t exist and it won’t go away. It will continue to build up and even create disease. (dis -ease – being ill at ease or not at ease.)
3. Creates Peace & Integrity
As you shine light on these sides of yourself, you will show up with more integrity and responsibility for who you are and own your actions and personality.
You are able to “come clean” and see the full picture. You take responsibility for who you are and choose who you want to be and actually make that happen instead of turning a blind eye to it.
When I was able to shine light on my fear and identify it, I was able to face it and go through it. As a result, I am at peace with my fear and am taking the necessary steps to understand it and resolve it. I no longer have random anxiety as I did before – which leads to the next point.
4. It Empowers You
When you can embrace all of yourself, your failures and shortcomings and own them, you begin to take back your power.
You realize that people can’t hurt you, that the way you view the situation hurts you. YOU can change things. You and your life are in YOUR hands and you are able to change it or keep it.
5. It Follows Natural Law
There is so much information out there and it can be a challenge to separate truth from what’s not true. An easy way to discover the “truth” of something is to watch nature.
Watch the flow of the days, the purpose of the seasons. They are symbols for the purpose of your darkness – and just as fire has the ability to warm, it has the power to burn. Just as anger has the power to spark action, it has the ability to destroy.
The hermetic principle of polarity states:
IV. THE PRINCIPLE OF POLARITY
“Everything is Dual; everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; like and unlike are the same; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree; extremes meet; all truths are but half-truths; all paradoxes may be reconciled.”
– The Kybalion.
This means that on the other side of darkness is light, on the other side of failure is success and on the other side of sadness is joy. If you are experiencing sadness within yourself you will trust that it will pass and joy awaits you.
As is natural law.
The same is true of happiness.
If you are experiencing happiness, be grateful, for the pendulum will swing and you will have an unpleasant experience that creates more desire for expansion in your evolution.
6. Uplevels Your Mindset for Adversity, Your Capacity for Strength & Creates Growth
Challenging times and undesirable emotions are fertile soil on which you grow and develop as a person. You do not grow and learn but staying the same, but by reaching outside of your current limitations. And that is painful.
After experiencing this pain you come out stronger and more resilient, in mind, emotion and body.
Embracing the darkness of these growing pains helps you trust that there is light at the end of the dark tunnel and a reward for trying times. This mindset helps you overcome those painful times.
7. Helps You Be Grateful
Nothing like experiencing painful moments within yourself to help you appreciate the beautiful, desirable ones.
These moments help to ground you, to shape you, to humble you, to help you grow and evolve. Be grateful for them while you are experiencing them.
Remember to see them with non-judgemental awareness, which leads to the next point.
8. Highlights Judgementalism & Expands Love & Compassion
Whatever you don’t accept in yourself, you are likely to reject or criticize in the world around you. This creates a clear guide of where you are still judgemental and shows you where you have room for improvement.
Embracing your darkness or weakness helps you to understand and experience love and compassion. To understand and relate that having fear is ok. To love your mistakes and faults. To see yourself and everything else as GOD (love, source, the higher part of you) sees you.
9. Shows You How to Feel Alive
When you are able to embrace and make peace with your darkness you allow yourself to fully feel the spectrum of emotions, and to make peace with the full spectrum of your personality and body.
Notice that it’s human nature to have darkness.
It’s the reason why we like scary movies, thrillers and dramas.
It’s the reason we channel our expression with dark art, music and writing. There is a part of us that likes it – that embraces the spectrum – that needs to feel it.
As a society, we hide our dark fantasies, secrets, perversions, anger, fear, jealousy, profanity etc. We are encouraged to hiding darkness and weakness to the point of suppression, to the point of negation.
This only amplifies what is suppressed to unhealthy levels and creates guilt, shame, disassociation and loss of power, loss of energy and loss and integrity.
Just remember not to hide your darkness from yourself. It’s a natural part of you.
Accept this truth and let it heal you, free you, empower you and teach you.
When you embrace it you can express healthy levels of it, you can being to see the world through the eyes of unconditional love and realize (real – ize-To see, to make real, to bring about) the perfection within yourself and all that is around you.
If you want to go deeper into embracing ALL of yourself through shadow work, stay tuned to my post on how to do it!
If you feel compelled, share your experiences below. I’d like to hear your story. 🙂
You are heroes.