Most of us can agree that life knows how to throw punches – hard. We have been lifted up, then beaten down again by life. Many of us try to avoid as much of that pain, that “suck”, those lows, as much as possible.

And we show social media just how successful we are at it.

We look for the highlights of our life to answer the questions, “How’ve you been?” and “What’s been going on?”

We wish, we manifest for more happiness, more success, more love, more beauty, more living in the moment. And yet, there are many moments in our life when we’re challenged, we’re afraid, we’re tired, we’re going through it.

But here’s the thing.

There is nothing wrong with you if you are not happy. The challenges of your life are the beautiful story for the main character, you, to learn, to improve, to transcend, to expand.

And a lot of time it looks like pain, it looks like failure. It looks like suck.

It’s time to embrace the contrast. Leverage the suck.

Let’s dive in.

The real gold in life is learning how to steer in the storm, dance in the fire, and befriend the darkness.

Generally speaking, we spend most of our time trying to be happy and comfortable. Making the temperature just right, eating when we are hungry, enjoying treats, and avoiding pain – physical, mental, and emotional. And yet, are still faced with this emptiness. This desire for more. This longing for the next better thing. That’s human.

And yet,

Pain is Where You Find Your Treasure

Something magical happens when you are able to face pain. Your way of thinking changes, your mind becomes more resilient, and your body becomes more resilient. Remember the post on anti-fragility? It’s basically this concept.

In adversity, you experience what some people call “character development” or “building character”. It makes you a better person. It brings people closer together. It’s where you discover what you’re made of, and you surprise yourself with your growth and strength.

Or you crash and burn and try again later.

Sometimes we call that failure. But then again it’s not really failure. It’s the uncomfortable place where our edges are. Where we generally have or do not have the skills for what we want to undertake or accomplish.

The Blessing of Failure Learning

We are made from our words as people.

Failure is not the right word. It is more apt to say learning.

Either we succeed or we learn. Failure is learning.

So we win, succeed, accomplish – or we learn.

What a blessing it is to learn.

Why?

Because you have the opportunity to see exactly how you can grow as a person. How you can “build character” and drop the illusion that you are “better” than you really are.

Sometimes you have to take a hard look at yourself and say, “Oh wow, I’m not that good” and this experience shows me where I can improve.

The Alchemy of Leveraging “Suck”

So to sum up, no checklist here. There is only 1 thing you need to do when things suck.

See it as your big chance to improve.

Your opportunity to learn.

To be challenged and overcome.

To become golden.

Unphased by the storm and enjoying the challenge of steering in it.

REFRAME your ATTITUDE to face the challenge. And to actually ENJOY the challenge. Or at least to sit in the conscious awareness and non judgementalism of the challenge.

Or feel sorry for yourself along the way.

There are 2 ways this goes,

1. If you absolutely cannot face the challenge, then get some rest. Treat yourself with grace and love and start again when you’re ready.
2. Face it.

So let’s say you decide to face it.

You’ve already won in improving your character and strength just by facing the challenge at hand. We’ll call this growth. A.k.a. you know how to do hard things.

You win at the challenge, leading to happiness and satisfaction. You reach your edge and expand.

Or

You fail learn. And this, my friend, is your golden moment where you are in “double suck”. You faced a hard challenge (which is painful) and did not succeed (that’s pain on pain).

Take a good honest look at yourself. Realize that you are missing certain skills, components, knowledge, etc. to succeed. Take note, write it down. Try again.

Take a deep breath of awareness and realize that you are an alchemist. Find joy in the process. Find pleasure in your painful growth. Smile in the storm of adversity.

Turning lead Suck Into Gold

It is in this very low moment, that you find yourself in the middle of this challenge, and you own your power by realizing that you are in control of your response. And you can choose to accept > then enjoy it.

How exactly? Let’s illustrate.

Remember the movie, 300? The Spartans are at war with the Persians.

• The Persian says, “Our arrows will blot out the sun.” (<<< This is your challenge)
• And the Spartan responds with “Then we will fight in the shade.” (<<< That’s you, alchemist, not only facing, but enjoying – LEVERAGING – the challenge to your best ability)

The Key

It takes practice. It may take time. It’s key to maintain awareness throughout.

See the Spartan’s face? He’s up for it. Embracing the challenge. Embracing the inner fire.

This is a thing that humans have that is usually tossed into our shadow side, or thrown into the “masochist” label. It’s that we actually enjoy a challenge and a little “suck”. We also call that “badass”.

And we like that – in movies, in superheroes, in fantasy. But when it comes to our own lives, we forget that we can choose to be the hero in our own lives. Or the victim.

Lean into your inner fire. Your inner strength. And see the golden opportunity of your expansion in the challenge.

Use animalistic energy + divine perspective.

Congratulations alchemist. This is a way to turn lead into gold. Side effects may include self-satisfaction, happiness, the conscious evolution of your spirit, and the liberty to experience life without shrinking, constraining, or resisting, reduced anxiety, and less feeling sorry for yourself. To realize, or see, your power.

Much love,

Jacqueline