Category: Life Purpose

Reflection

The Critical Part of Success You’re Most Likely Too Busy For

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The definition of success is personal.

In this case, we’ll have it be whatever you want to achieve or obtain. The attainment of a goal that is important to you and part of your plan.

“You know when you’re successful when you feel fulfillment. If you feel stuck or empty, you’re doing it wrong.”

-Consciousness Liberty

For those of you who don’t know me, my mission is to help you free your consciousness and help redefine the paradigms that we live and work by.

One of those paradigms is the “work hard” wave we’ve been riding in our working culture. American culture, Chinese culture, and many others we have glorified working long hours, “putting in overtime”, “grinding”, “working hard” and “being on-call”.

I don’t know about you, but for me, doing things hard usually means that your skillset is not well equipped for the task at hand.

When you are properly equipped for a task, it is not hard, it’s fluid, it’s enjoyable, it’s effective and efficient, (and in some cases masterful). It’s not hard.

Hard is not optimal. It’s an indicator of friction and by definition an indicator of expending, energy, effort, force or strength into a task.

It’s force. Not power.

And that’s an important difference.

Due to this “work hard” culture, we overwork to the point of compromising our health, our happiness, our productivity, enjoyment, and ultimately – our success.

We’re Too Busy to Create Our Own Success

Our obsession with pushing and working long hours, actually makes us more inefficient in our work. For example, we expect our coworkers to put in long hours, so we take long lunches, schedule long meetings and run them poorly. Being poorly prepared for a meeting and wasting time.

Plus…

It ignores this critical component of success nobody talks about.

Reflection

Why?

We’re too busy being busy, and sharing with everyone how busy we are. We don’t make the time to come up for a breather and realign on our priorities, activities, and the way we do them.

We are in a whirlwind of work that always fills up the time allotted.

And boy do we give it time.

Most of our time.

It’s important to reflect on our tasks and consider,

  • What’s the impact of this?
  • Is this getting me closer to my ultimate goal?
  • What is my ultimate goal?

If you don’t know the answers to these questions, you’re expending a lot of energy on activities that fill up your day, and ultimately your life, and take you no closer to your success.

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always be where you’ve always been.”

– T.D. Jakes

Reflection, the Missing Piece to Your Success

You know how at the beginning of this article we talked about how success is personal?

Well, that’s a big deal because you can be a “high performer” at work and be rewarded for your long hours and extra effort and not be “successful” because you’re not fulfilled. You’re checking off tasks at work, but they aren’t the tasks that really matter to you.

Or you may be struggling to keep up at work, and compromising your health and your most precious relationships.

And may not even realize it when it’s happening because you’re too busy.

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.”

– Margaret J. Wheatley

The Benefits of Reflection

If you’re used to the “go, go, go”, “caffeine and crush”, “sleep when you’re dead” culture, reflection can seem painstaking, or worse, a waste of time.

So, why reflect?

Besides the fact that the most famous Emperor of Rome did.

Anyway, so here’s why.

Reflection allows you to gain perspective, deeper wisdom, more alignment, plan new more effective actions, more effective strategies, and gain insights and ideas that can be used to further maximize your time, processes, impact and potential.

University of Florida researchers found that those who start the day by thinking of the kind of leader they want to be were more effective at work.

A University of Zurich study concluded that reflecting on past personal challenges you’ve overcome helps you process negative experiences.

So, what do you get when you have that alignment?

When you’re doing the things that are most important to you?

Happiness and fulfillment.

And as Socrates once said, a life worth living.

Why Does Reflection Make Such a Big Difference?

We go through life having experiences. When you have significant experiences that are of high emotional intensity or high consequence, your mind will automatically create a reference point to better handle that specific situation (and situations like it). it’s a biological survival program.

This works pretty well for some basic life situations: don’t touch that plant again (it’s poison ivy). Don’t talk to that person(they are mean), eat that thing, (that was delicious). But sometimes situations get more complex and your biological survival system can backfire. Don’t speak your mind in the meeting (that was not well received).

As John C. Maxwell said, reflection turns experience into insight. Reflection fine-tunes what success means to you and what are the strategies and steps to get there.

And in some cases, it defines that.

“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure.”

-Unknown

Kind of funny how that quote is by Unknown. Anyway, let’s move on.

Types of Reflection

For the purpose of effectiveness, we’ll make a distinction between reflection and self-reflection. They are pretty much the same thing, but a distiction can be made that will improve your practice.

  • Self-reflection – What Socrates calls “knowing Thyself”. When you reflect on you. On your understanding of what “you” are.
  • Reflection – Distinguished by reflecting on your work, tasks at hand, projects, etc. in a specific situation.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

-Aristotle

How to Reflect

There are many exercises and ways to reflect. For our purposes here, let’s keep it simple.

  1. Ask yourself questions. Self-dialogue.
  2. Preferably write things down.

Remember, the quality of your questions will determine the quality of your results.

In a specific situation such as a project or event, there are some fundamental questions that can help you get the ball rolling.

  1. What is my goal?
  2. Is this serving my goal?
  3. What did I do? What happened (cause)
  4. What was the result? (result)
  5. What could I have done better/different to have better results?
  6. What valuable lessons did I realize?
  7. How can I incorporate/ integrate these into my work, life, behavior?
  8. What should I start doing? Stop doing?

That’s pretty much it. I suggest setting aside time every day or every week for reflection (Bonus points for scheduling it into your calendar). It’s a conscious design of the evolution of you. Many people find that various journaling practices are an excellent tool for reflection.

How to Self-Reflect

If you want to do general self-reflection, the same process applies.

Knowing yourself is a critical part of your wellbeing, success and fulfillment.

So, I created a list of questions for you to get right to it. You can find them here.

Reflection & Marcus Aurelius

One of the greatest exemplars of reflection practice was the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. His private writings to himself we published and popularized as the work, Meditations in the category of Stoic philosophy. The Meditations of the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius have been read by many historians, philosophers and leaders as they provide insights into the great mind of this Imperial Ruler.

Reflection & The Law of Duaity

In hermetic philosophy, there is a universal law known as the Law of Duality.

The practice of reflection satisfies this law, which maximizes your effectiveness. In this way, you can avoid burnout, boredom, and imbalance. And live a life that is fun, inspires your work and helps you work better.

If you are to compare work to weight lifting, it’s during the periods of rest that your muscles get stronger. It’s during your reflection time that you integrate and align your learnings.

And YOU get stronger.

The Practice of Reflection

In order for you to be successful in starting your new reflection habit, I invite you to create time and space for the reflection practice. Set yourself up for success by scheduling a recurring time in your calendar for this.

Here are some quotes to give you a gentle butt-kick of inspiration.

“Without deep reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people.”

-Albert Einstein

“People who have had little self-reflection live life in a huge reality blind-spot.”

-Bryant McGill

“The more reflective you are, the more effective you are.”

-Hall And Simeral

Let’s slow down to speed up together.

Refrences:

https://kidadl.com/articles/top-reflection-quotes-to-gain-perspective
https://antimaximalist.com/self-reflection-quotes/
https://fromemuseum.org/challenges-faced-by-socrates/
https://nwyatt227.medium.com/3-lessons-to-live-by-from-marcus-aurelius-9c33759e9e77
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14623940903138266
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5703031/
https://web.media.mit.edu/~mres/clubhouse/handouts/reflection-v6.pdf
Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/reflection-quotes

A Mindset Shift to Get Out of Your Head & Out of Your Own Way

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I’ve met so many brilliant people with game-changing ideas that tell me that they are unsure that what they have to share in the world is of value.

They are face-to-face with their self-worth. 

I’m sitting in a cafe in Austin, Texas on a beautiful Sunday afternoon and I look up at the sky. It’s a gorgeous day with white puffy clouds.

Suddenly I realize – the magnitude of cities, countries, landscapes and situations in the world.

People enjoying life, people in pain, people relaxing, people stressing out. People walking down plazas, back alleys, bars, hospitals.

Birthday parties, graduations, car accidents, panic attacks, joy, war, desperation, laughter. People experiencing ancient archeological marvels and newly built architectural wonders.

Rainforests, deserts, glaciers. Submarines, jet planes, space shuttles, self-driving cars, tuk-tuks. 

Anyway. Long story, short.

It’s the magnificence and full spectrum of life – its people, its diversity – that can only be seen when you get out of your head. Out of your own life.

Zoom out to see that everyone has their own universe inside their mind. 

What does that have to do with your business? With your goals and with your dreams?

Nothing.

That’s right. The measure of your own self-worth from yourself, or others, should not get in the way of your goals. 

Because it doesn’t matter. You can be the person who lends a helping hand, a smile, a word of encouragement, a hug, a favor. It doesn’t matter. And for the most part, you don’t need to feel like you’re worthy enough that your words will make a difference or that your smile looks nice enough to brighten someone else’s day. 

You’re ridiculous. 

Get out there.

Change the world. 

One person at a time. 

  1. Zoom out and shift your perspective.
  2. Have the intention to help. 
  3. And take the action to follow through. 

It doesn’t matter who you are. It matters that you did. 

And you do.

With Love, 

Jacqueline   

You Want to Effect Real Change? Ignore What’s Wrong with the World and FOCUS on the GOOD.

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The next time you’re with your friends in a social environment, notice what they focus on when they speak to you. Are they focusing on what’s wrong with the world? The issues and the pain points? Or are they focused on the amazing things happening in the world and their lives? How happy and grateful they are?

Where are they directing their energy?

Where are you directing yours?

When you put your attention into something, you give something energy. In order for you to have thoughts and emotions, you have to put some energy into their creation.

Most of us have heard about “The Secret” and how directing your thoughts and emotions with intention works. Simply, focus your thoughts and emotions on what you want. Say it out loud, write it down, describe it in detail etc. and it will manifest into your life.

So, what do you think is happening when you are talking about the current issues in the world?

You are giving them your Attention and your energy.

You are making them stronger and keeping them alive.

Now, am I saying to ignore the issues and what’s wrong with the world?

Yes.

If they are not directly present in your life, meaning you had to go find them on your newsfeed and you don’t know anyone that is dealing with them directly. Yes, ignore them.

Before you completely disagree with me and think:

“What the hell, are you kidding me? Ignoring them isn’t going to make them disappear. We need to create awareness etc.”

Consider this.

You will do more good, provide more help and be more effective if — you focus on the good. Otherwise, you are adding your energy to the issue at hand. You’re making the issue worse while your ego feels a sense of righteousness. Feels good to you, but it’s counterproductive and counter-effective.

Yes, you want to create awareness as in, “Hey this issue is happening. Now you know about it.” And THAT’S IT.

No emotion, no talking on and on about it, and no ruminating about it.

Let’s do a quick experiment.

Think about 3 things you’re grateful for. Feel them, say them out loud. Feel that gratitude feeling running through your body.

Now.

Think of those 3 things and find what’s missing from them or what’s wrong with them.

Examples:

  • Gratitude: I am so grateful for my house.
  • What’s missing: Although my furniture is a little plain, I have no view of the ocean, the washing machine is loud, it’s not well lit, whatever.

Chances are you can come up with something to find lack in.

  • Gratitude: I’m grateful for my healthy body.
  • What’s Missing: Yeah I’m healthy but I could lose some weight, and I could be tanner (or lighter) and my butt could be more lifted and my legs more toned…. bigger biceps, better calves, etc.

We are good at focusing on what’s missing. You can thank your brain survival system for this (news media capitalizes on this BIG TIME) Because your brain is wired to look for dangers and threats.

So which was the more productive thought?

Which one made you feel happier? Raised your energy?

Which one do you think is going to bring more things you’re grateful for in life?

Chances are, you easily noticed it was the thought, energy and vibration of  GRATITUDE that made you feel happier. It will also cause you to notice more gratitude in your life.

Wanna know why?

Let’s look to science!

From an energetic frequency perspective, we’ve often heard that energy attracts like energy. I wasn’t able to find any scientific proof on this.

However!

I was able to conclude with science that like energy creates and amplifies like energy.

How?

Acoustic Resonance & Sympathetic resonance

“Acoustic resonance is a phenomenon where acoustic systems amplify sound waves whose frequency matches one of its own natural frequencies of vibration (its resonance frequencies). Additionally, a vibration from one object can be passed on to another object at rest, if it has a similar resonance frequency. This transfer of acoustic energy is known as Sympathetic resonance or sympathetic vibration. It is a harmonic phenomenon wherein a formerly passive string or vibratory body responds to external vibrations to which it has a harmonic likeness.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acoustic_resonance https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sympathetic_resonance

In the brain, the resonance takes the form of:

Brainwave Entrainment 

“Brainwave entrainment, also referred to as brainwave synchronization and neural entrainment, refers to the capacity of the brain to naturally synchronize its brainwave frequencies with the rhythm of periodic external stimuli, most commonly auditory, visual, or tactile.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainwave_entrainment

Basically, the brain will begin to sync with the same vibrations it is exposed to.

Additionally, your brain contains an amazing system, called the:

Reticular Activating System (RAS)

The Reticular Activation System or (RAS) is a bundle of nerves that filter the information coming from the environment. The way the filter is set is determined by what you consciously (or subconsciously) set your attention to.

Your RAS will filter out what you are not focusing on. If you are focused on your friend’s conversation in a busy restaurant, you will be able to filter in her conversation and filter out all other conversations as background noise. You will NOT be able to comprehend what you are not focused on.

So,

When you are focused on and talking about what’s wrong with the world with someone, you are passing those vibrations to someone else. If they resonate with you, you begin to create those vibrations inside of them. Then you will both amplify each other’s energies.

Therefore,

What kind of world do you live in when you are vibrating in “what’s wrong” mode? What are you CREATING and putting out into the world? When you and your friend talk about problems you amplify the energy and create more of that which you are talking about! Especially when you get mad about it.

So, let’s talk about PEACE, LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, FREEDOM. Create THAT WORLD for yourself and those around you.

Let’s amplify THAT into the world.

So, focus on the good. It’s a much better use of your energy. Like

Like Ghandi said,

“Be the change you WISH to see in the world.”

And Gandi knows what’s up. 🙂

 

REFERENCES:
https://hbr.org/2007/10/manage-your-energy-not-your-time
http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/462/law-of-attraction-says-that-like-attracts-like-so-why-do-electrons-repel
https://www.themagicofquantum.com/review.php
http://science.jrank.org/pages/2489/Energy-Magnetic-energy.html
http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu/hbase/Waves/funhar.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brainwave_entrainment
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acoustic_resonance
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sympathetic_resonance
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Resonance

10 Step Exercise To Really Find Your Life’s Purpose

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Everyone — just like they have unique fingerprints, also have unique “fingerprints” figuratively. They are the things that YOU LOVE, that other people just wouldn’t understand.

And there are things in life that people just can’t get enough of that you don’t see the point of. Snapchat?…

Those things are you and they relate to your mission in life. The good news is that no matter what you want to do in life, no matter what. NO ONE, I mean NO ONE is going to do it like you. With your style, ideas, execution etc.

Most people spend their entire life searching for their life’s purpose. It’s right in front of you…

In all the little quirks and things you love. Although they are clouded by things that other people love. What your parents think they love and what you’re friends think success is because some online guru is preaching the flavor of the week.

For this exercise, you will write down a list of the top 10 things that come to mind when asked these questions. Don’t filter, just write down what comes up. If you write down more than 10, don’t worry. Just get about 10 on paper.

Ready? Let’s go.

  1. What do you enjoy spending your “spending money” on? Top 10. Circle the top 3.
  2. What do you enjoy doing? Top 10. Circle top 3.
  3. What moments or experiences do you value in life? Write down your top 10. Circle the top 3.
  4. What are your values in life? Make a list of the top 10 things. Circle the top 3.
  5. What topic or subjects strike up an emotional response in you? What gets you most excited? Whether it’s a positive or negative emotion. Write down what they are and the corresponding emotion.
  6. What books or magazines are you currently reading? If none, create a list of 3-5 topics you would like to read about.
  7. Preferences:
    – Do you prefer to work alone or in groups?
    – Do you prefer to work at a computer or out in the field. Passive vs active work. It could be a percentage such as 30% computer work, 70% speaking on stage.
    – Would you define yourself as more of an introvert, extrovert or both?
    – What is more important to you, mastery or variety?
  8. Make a list of every idea related to a business or project you want to create. It’s really important you take time to do this completely. It will create ALOT more clarity.
    Can any of these be combined? combine the similar ones. Example coffee shop + library, or daycare center + spa, or digital courses + meditation audios.
    Rate them then select your top 3.
    Which can you start right now without capital?
  9. What do you want your legacy to be after you die? What’s that 1 thing you want to contribute, leave behind or be known for?
  10. What is your biggest pain point in life? What frustrates you most about the world or holds you back in life?

Ok now write down the top in each category.

Here is an example:

Values:

– Nature
– Exercise
– Family

Business ideas:

– Children’s outside jungle gym
– Daycare center with a garden
– Animal conservation program.

Spending:

– Adventure excursions in nature
– Organic products
– latest “green” technology

Books or magazines:

– Home & Garden Magazine
– Books about parenting
– Books on DIY

Preferences:

– Do you prefer to work alone or in groups? In groups
– Do you prefer to work at a computer or out in the field. Passive vs active work.
   Active work outside.
– Would you define yourself as more of an introvert, extrovert or both? Both.
– What is more important to you? Mastery or variety? Variety.

Enjoy:

– Exercise and healthy living
– Interacting with children
– Sunshine and nature

Value:

– My health
– Time with family
– Being able to go out into nature and a clean environment

Legacy:

– Create a healthier world starting with our children where they learn how to live in accordance with nature.

Take the top in each category and compare them in the following ways.

Values + Business ideas + spending + Book topics + legacy = Your current goal in life.

Check for overlap:

Values:

– Nature
– Exercise
– Family

+

Business Ideas:

– Children’s outside jungle gym
– Daycare center with a garden
– Animal conservation program.

+

Spending:

– Adventure excursions in nature
– Organic products
– Latest “green” technology

+

Book Topics:

– Home & Garden Magazine
– Books about parenting
– Books on DIY

+

Legacy:

– Create a healthier world starting with our children where they learn how to live in accordance with nature.

=

Your Current Goal in Life: “Create a daycare with a jungle gym and small garden that teaches children about respecting nature, growing their own organic food and preparing it, going on hikes and learning about plants and animals.”

Compare your current goal in life to your top 3 business ideas. What stands out?

Preferences + enjoy = How you want to bring your goal to life.

Preferences:

– Do you prefer to work alone or in groups? In groups.
– Do you prefer to work at a computer or out in the field.  Passive vs active work.
   Active work outside.   
– Would you define yourself as more of an introvert, extrovert or both? Both.
– What is more important to you? Mastery or variety? Variety.

+

Enjoy:

– exercise and healthy living
– Interacting with children
– sunshine and nature

=

How you want to bring your goal to life: “I want to work close to nature in sunshine with children where I can teach them about various topics to lead a balanced and conscious lifestyle.”

Enjoy + Value = Your goal in life must allow for these things to happen to have balance.

Enjoy:

– exercise and healthy living
– Interacting with children
– sunshine and nature

+

Value:

– My health
– time with family
– Being able to go out into nature and a clean environment

=

To have balance: “I enjoy a healthy lifestyle in a clean, natural environment working with children. My 30 hour workweek allows me plenty of time with my family and to maintain my favorite exercise routine.”

Topics with emotional response + Biggest pain point + Legacy = Your purpose in life.

Topics with emotional response:

– Environmental destruction
– My health and my family’s health
– Making sure the future generations are educated and supported to live in   accordance with nature and respect nature.

+

Biggest pain point:

– Watching my child growing up in an unbalanced society, without enough exercise or nature and knowing I have to do something about it.

+

Legacy:

– Create a healthier world starting with our children where they learn how to live in accordance with nature.

=

My purpose in life: To ensure future generations have access to a clean, healthy and natural way of life by teaching children a hands-on approach to nature and healthy, balanced living and protecting the environment for generations to come.

Congrats, you are now clear on your life’s purpose.

If you have any resistance to the statement above, you either

  1. Didn’t thoroughly complete the exercise.
  2. Have discovered self-limiting beliefs.

What now?

If you are like most people in the world, you will find your mind and body may “fight” you by giving you all the reasons it won’t work. Excuses, tiredness, sickness, fear, self-criticism, and questioning. Is this really my life’s purpose? What about this other idea I just got?

This is why we created a difference between “Your Life’s Purpose” and your “Current Goal in Life”

“Your life’s purpose” is the burning desire, the soul desire to serve others in your unique way. Only you can do this and it’s usually the constant thread in your life.

“Your current goal in life” is your current business idea and form of execution. However, it may not be your last.

You may have several careers or businesses that align with your purpose in life. So if you choose a career or business, go for it. Dive into it. When it’s time you may naturally evolve into something else. In some cases you won’t. In all cases, it’s the right path, flow with it.

If you want to see what careers are available in over 71 different countries, check out Jooble. When you perform a search with Jooble, you’ll get links to job postings from more than 21,640 different job sites that are the most relevant to your search terms. Find something new and exciting locally or anywhere around the world! Warning: Job sites can be overwhelming at times, so take the information and requirements that come up with a grain of salt. Remember, baby steps. 

What are your thoughts? Did you find your life’s purpose? Comment below.